Words Say More
by Love From A Muggle
Summary: words can hurt more than people realize. Written for the Prompt Of The Day for Hogwarts Online II. Severus/Lily.


Written for Hogwarts Online II Prompt of the day for September 9,2012.

Prompt: **"I've fallen in love many times. . .always with you."**

_Author's note: I looked it up on Harry Potter Lexicon, and it said we don't really know when Snape became a death eater. This story takes place between the end of his fifth year, after his huge fight with Lily (when He called her a mud blood) and the start of the following year when he's sixteen. It's Angust because of the ending, but the story is still really good. Please Review._

A cool crisp Saturday morning caused Severus to walk outside on the castle grounds. He saw her standing by the Quidditch Pitch, watching the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice. She seemed to have been crying. Curiosity got the better of Severus, and he walked over to her.

"Lily?" He asked concerned for his once dear friend.

"I'm not crying," she said abruptly, as if he was asking if she was crying. She was cold to him, for he remembered the fight that changed everything.

"I never asked." Severus replied as he offered her a handkerchief and watched her accept which surprised him. She brushed her eyes with the handkerchief and then tried handing it back to him.

"Keep it," he advised as he refused to accept it back.

"Thank you," Lily neatly folded it up and tucked it in her chocolate brown pea coat. She turned her gaze back to the field.

"Don't you want to go in?" Severus offered. He hated Gryffindor with a passion, no he hated James Potter with a passion and knew he would be in there, but if Lily wanted to watch, he would go just for her. Because of James and his minions, he lost Lily as a friend forever. This was the second time he talked to her in a few months. She shook her head no as angry eyes formed.

"No. I don't want to go in," she said coldly towards him, and glaring at the pitch.

Sensing tension from her, they started walking in the opposite direction of the Quidditch Pitch. His loafers crunched on the Autumn leaves that had fallen.

"It's pretty out." Severus said trying to change the subject. He hated seeing Lily tense knowing he caused her pain a little under a year ago. Curiosity got the better of him as he wondered what James did this time to cause her to cry.

"It's going to start snowing next week," she said gazing around the giant lake.

"Is it?" Severus replied tilting his head in her direction. He noticed she stopped walking. He stopped walking as he placed his arms behind his back, Severus stared back at the lake. Every ounce of him wanted to ask what James did. But he bit his tongue, just so he wouldn't ask. Instead, he breathed in and out, waiting for her to continue.

"Yes. I can feel it in the air," she shivered as she pulled her coat closer to her.

"It usually doesn't start till the first of November." Severus replied.

"I know. I feel it's going to come early this year."

Severus nodded in agreement for he didn't dare argue with her, knowing this time talking to her was precious. In fact, he was very surprised she was even talking to him at all. He picked up a red leaf and began playing with it in his hands.

"Is there such a thing as love?" Her question caused him to drop the leaf and stare at her.

Once he realized he was staring, he shook his head no, and stared back at the lake.

"You don't?"

"I thought I did."

"What changed it?" Lily asked.

Severus hesitated. He really didn't want to tell her the truth he's kept hidden for all these years.

"I used to. Sometimes I'm not sure if I still think there is such a thing."

"I believe in love. But I also believe in finding it with the right person," she didn't look at him.

"Have you-" he hesitated. He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. He felt his throat go dry, but knew he needed to know so the love he felt for her could go away.

"Have you fallen in love with James?" He asked after clearing his throat. She looked up at him confused.

"I think I have. Haven't you ever been in love?" Emerald eyes full of curiosity stared back at him.

"I just said I didn't believe in love," he said coldly. He saw her look away and regretted being so harsh.

"Lily, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it?" She snapped at him glaring in his direction.

"I've fallen in love many times… always with you," he had finally done it.

Finally told her the secret he's kept from her for years. He knew things would change after this very conversation, but she needed to know before she took a big step with Potter. A tiny shred of hope flooded through him hoping she would talk to him again after this conversation. Lily breathed in, and out, letting the sigh come out as well.

"Sev, we're not even friends anymore. After what happened last year, after that horrible name you called me, how could you possibly still be in love with me? No, don't answer that. I'm sorry, but I just don't see us becoming friends again because one of us has feelings for the other," she confessed.

"I see," Severus clenched his fists feeling stupid for telling her. He was fooling himself knowing she wouldn't love him back. She turned away from him.

"Take it back," she said as she held out the handkerchief. When he refused, she just nodded. She dropped the handkerchief on the ground, no longer wanting it. Lily didn't say anything towards him. She walked off towards the castle leaving him alone.

Severus picked up the white handkerchief and breathed in smelling her scent while feeling tears form. He heard a noise from behind him and quickly blinked so whomever it was couldn't witness the tears. Theodore Nott walked up from behind him as he stared at the castle. Severus clinched his fist, hiding the handkerchief.

"So, have you thought about what I asked you?" He said staring at his friend.

Severus glanced once more at the castle, hoping she would come back out. When she didn't, he turned to his friend.

"Yeah."

"And?"

"I'll join." Severus said. Theodore held out his hand and waited for Severus to shake it.

"The Dark Lord will be pleased," he said as Severus shook his hand.

**Special thanks to MiaCara for beta'ing my story! **


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